Emotional Affairs

Emotional Affairs and Emotional Infidelity have just as many negative effects on relationships as physical affairs. Coping with emotional affairs is difficult. This article explains just exactly "What is an Emotional Affair?"

Sadly, emotional affairs and emotional infidelity are becoming prevelant in the workplace and across the internet.  The negative effects of having affairs on marriages is just the same for an emotional affair as any affair.  Emotional infidelity is still infidelity, but just what is an emotional affair?

An emotional affair is an emotional bond with someone other than your spouse.  It does not have to be sexual, though usually there is a sexual attraction. Emotional affairs have the following characteristics:

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Secrecy

Secrecy in an emotional affair takes various forms.

The relationship itself is usually kept secret from the spouse or significant other.  If the relationship is not completely secret, the extent of the relationship is most often minimized and the details are kept secret.  This can be just as damaging as a physical affair.  Emotional affairs can have the same negative effects on a marriage as physical infidelity.

An emotional affair often involves, doing things and saying things they would not do with their spouse. Conversations and intimacy are on a level they would never want their spouse to know about or overhear.  In fact, a good litmus test, is if you are sharing thoughts and emotions you would be ashamed if your spouse overheard, you have probably crossed the line that could lead to an emotional affair.  You may be so emotionally attached that an emotional affair is imminent.

An emotional affair often involves the sharing of emotions, thoughts, fantasies, desires, and goals that are not shared with the spouse.  The relationship doesn't begin with a desire to commit infidelity.  Rather emotional affairs grow out of an emotional bond.

Often it is thought that because the relationship is not sexual that it is not an emotional affair is not an affair.  This is not true.  You take away from your spouse intimacy and the amount of energy you would put into your relationship when you have such an attachment to someone else.  Emotional affairs are very slippery slopes often lead to a sexual affair as well.

Ultimately, if you are sharing details of your life with another person that you would not want your spouse or significant other to know about, chances are you are involved in an emotional affair.  If you would feel shame to know that your spouse overheard or knew the true nature of the relationship it is an emotional affair.  

Emotional affairs contain the elements of secrecy and deception and are as damaging and devastating (if not more) than a sexual affair.  It's important to note too that some affairs are both - emotional and sexual.  Emotional affairs are often more difficult to end, and for the betrayed, more difficult to recover from.  A physical affair with an emotional attachment becomes the most difficult type of affair to end.  Emotional affairs are very difficult to end the longer the emotional bond has time to deepen. As with affairs in general, the sooner the relationship is stopped, the greater likelihood for saving the marriage or significant relationship.

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