Getting Over a Breakup

Ways to get over breaking up. Getting Over a Breakup.  Breakups are not easy, but yes, it can be done.

Getting Over a Breakup
Ways to Get Over Breaking Up

It’s happened.  Whether suddenly or out of the blue.  Your relationship has ended.  What do you do now to get over a breakup?

First, remember that time, and time alone, heals everything.  For making things easier here are a few suggestions for getting over a breakup.

Let yourself grieve.  Even a bad relationship is still a loss.  It's perfectly ok (and healthy) to grieve over what you have lost and for what might have been.  Just don't stay in the grieving process.  Allow yourself the first week to be pitiful, to cry, to rant and rave and feel every emotion that you feel.  Do it in small increments.  Twice a day set an alarm clock for 20 minutes and cry, cuss, scream into your pillow, whatever you need to do to get it all out.

Pamper Yourself.  Indulge in a few luxuries.  Chocolate is good in the short term, but I prefer something along the lines of a new haircolor, new hairstyle, spa treatment or just a pedicure.  Ever notice how the small things such as your feet looking sensational can make you feel better about yourself?

Read an inspirational book or watch a few movies (with happy endings of course) where women overcome.

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Further your education.  Take an exercise class.  Take a short course in photography or anything else you always wanted to know about.  If you don't have that much time or can't make that investment, pick a topic and do a little research on the internet.  Focusing on something you don't know about with both make you feel better about yourself and occupy your mind.  Learn something.

Have a breakup buddy.  Designate one friend that you can call at any time.  The first week you can have 2 calls a day to grieve (for short intervals).  The second week once a day to grieve.  And the third week once a day, but this time for every good thing you remember or wish could have been, you must think of one thing that was bad about the relationship.  Week four a call every other day, but only to state things you are thinking of doing/pursuing in the future.

Make a list of all the things you'd really like to do with your life.  Get creative and specific.  Now, pick one that's doable, and MAKE IT HAPPEN.  No excuses, just do it.  You only live once.

When you think of the relationship, allow the thought to enter your head, don't push it out.  Once the thought is there tell yourself to "stop."  Think of a thing you did not like about the other person.  This helps as you are teaching your mind to put a negative thought in place of a positive thought.  You will find yourself thinking of him less and less.  

If this does not help stop the thoughts, one of my favorite tricks is to think of the person in a silly way, or a behavior they would never do. One of my favorites that I personally used was when breaking up with a guy I thought was absolutely wonderful.  I could not stop thinking of him in a very fond light.  He was, however, somewhat pretentious at times and very fond of his car.  So I pictured him driving around in his spotless black BMW with a big Calvin peeing on something on the back windshield.  It worked. :-)

Take a mini trip (if you are low on funds go somewhere you can drive and act as a tourist for the day).

Continue with these items.  Do one thing off your list, go to the next one.  Go on a date - not to become romantically involved yet, just for conversation and to get dressed up and feel good about yourself.  Do another thing on your list of things you always wanted to do.

Do yet another thing from your list.

If you follow these suggestions, not only will you get over your breakup, you'll be well on your way to being who you really wanted to be.   The day will come when you wake up and getting over a breakup won't even cross your mind.  You will not only be over the relationship but your day will be filled with good things for you.  Getting over a breakup is possible!